day 4: the journey to a prosperous heart continues

Slowly but surely I am getting these pages out.

My journey is continuing and my transformation may not be apparent right now, but I feel change happening. Have you ever smelled a change in the air? That feeling when summer is ending and a cooler and smoother freshness is coming in and telling you that fall is coming near.

Sometimes in Houston the heat disappears, a cool front happens and you are tricked into thinking that we can put our shorts and flip flops away. Then in the middle of October, the humidity comes back to suffocate you back into the misery you have been suffering for months.

That’s what change and growth feels like. Glimpses of accomplishment and lessons and then SPLAT. You fall back on your ass wondering, “Am I EVER gonna learn?”

And yet I keep showing up doing my morning pages, reading the book and doing “The Prosperous Heart” Program

Highlights from the Last Week

1) Check-In Regarding “The Prosperous Heart” Program
Morning Pages: 3 days of morning pages and 2 days of meditation

Counting: 3 days of counting

Walking & My Insights: 2 walks Walking does make me feel better. One walk was around my old neighborhood (The Menil, A few blocks close to North and South Street). I thought about buying some coffee to reward myself, but I realized since the line was long that I could make some coffee at home. My second walk was a regular weekly walk that I love doing because I get to check in with my friend Lily and catch up on our goals. The walk is at a nearby mall near my job, and it makes my prep time before teaching more bearable.

Time-Out: I didn’t really count this. Doubt that I did this daily, but I am trying to meditate more in the morning or use my time-out as a way to record insights in my morning pages.

2) My Time-Out Lesson
If I work too many hours, I tend to not have time for:
– my chores (laundry, dishes, and random upkeep at home)
– making food and coffee at home
– basic self care rituals (enough sleep and enough time showers, rest, and decompressing)

So, what’s the point of working lots of hours (for example: loading my schedule with TOO many classes to teach) if I don’t have time for rest, eating home-cooked meals and coffee on my couch.

If I work a lot of hours and/or don’t get enough sleep, I end up having to spend money on breakfast or lunch items because I did not allow myself time to make snacks or go home for a quick shower and lunch break. I also end up with this weird and sometimes unwarranted “I deserve it because I have been working.” mentality. Like for instance, I deserve a cup of coffee because I taught four classes today and you don’t have time to sleep or rest.

I am much happier teaching and/or working less when I have:
– meditated and/or did my morning pages
– doing work that takes a little more investment OR challenge –> workshops, painting, writing and connecting with people who are invested in transformation and are willing to pay for that
– confidence that I am smart enough to earn higher pay because of my experience and talents.

Overall, just because you have a full schedule DOES NOT necessarily mean that you will have the inner peace financially especially if you sacrifice your self care, your personal responsibilities and spend the money you earned for convenience.

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